Trust
by Thunz
Summary: Commander Shepard, Garrus and Mordin trek to Mordin's clinic to find out what Cerberus has inside Shepard. Shepard starts to feel confused about how she feels about Garrus.


**A/N:** First in a series of one-shots. This one takes place early in ME2. This was something I thought Shepard would do after picking up one of the smartest people in the galaxy.

As always, all things Mass Effect belongs to Bioware.

This had no beta, so any mistakes in spelling or grammar are mine. Apologies if that's the case.

Enjoy!

* * *

Omega. Shithole of the galaxy. "'You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy'," quoted Shepard with a smile as she, Garrus and Mordin exited the docking tube connecting the _Normandy_ to the dock.

"I recognise that," replied Garrus, "that was from that old vid you made me watch on the first _Normandy_. War in the Stars?"

"Star Wars episode four: A New Hope," grinned Shepard, "I didn't _make_ you. Anyway, you enjoyed it."

"Whatever. I can't believe that's what you humans thought would be out here in the galaxy," grinned back Garrus.

"You cheered when Han saved Luke from Vader during the attack on the Death Star," Shepard said, elbowing Garrus in his side.

"Only because Solo reminds me of me; handsome, witty, charming, brave, good shot, saves the day at the last minute," said Garrus, with a return elbow.

"Cocky, brash, show off. Yeah, you're right!" laughed Shepard giving Garrus a good shove. "It's good to have you back, Garrus, I've missed this."

"Me too, Shepard, me too. Just like old times," quipped Garrus and laughed.

The three of them had reached the courtyard outside Afterlife. Mordin interjected then, "Don't want to interrupt display of camaraderie. Must ask, why come to Omega? _Normandy_ not in need of resupply. Dangerous for Garrus to return, despite reports of Archangel's death. New crewmate, perhaps? No, would have recruited them when on station earlier. Hmm, perhaps – "

"Relax, Mordin," interrupted Shepard, "Now that we're away from eyes and ears that I don't completely trust yet, I can tell you. We need to head to your clinic." Shepard led them to transit hub. "You've got a full body, multi-spectrum scanner?"

"Yes. Diagnostic equipment vital in treating multi-species population. _Normandy_ has excellent medical bay. Lab is well supplied, also. Why use clinic?"

They reached an automated taxi and hopped in. Shepard realised that Mordin would probably keel over and die if he found a question that couldn't get an answer to. Garrus interrupted her train of thought, "Good question. I could do with not being recognised, you know?"

Shepard entered their destination on the dashboard interface. "I _offered_ to get you new armour so you wouldn't be recognised. Hell, you could have repainted it, at least," huffed Shepard.

"I like the blue," replied Garrus as the taxi took off on its pre-programmed path.

"So do I," Shepard replied looking at Garrus beside her, eyebrows arched upwards suggestively. Shepard surprised herself. Was she flirting? With _Garrus_? He was her friend, maybe her best friend but the easy banter they shared had never shifted into flirting but she did like that shade of blue.

Garrus eyes widened, in surprise or fear, Shepard wasn't sure, Garrus could be hard to read. Great. Ruin the only decent thing she has left.

"Shepard, question still not answered," said Mordin, confirming Shepard's assessment, from the back seat.

"Mordin, I want to find out exactly what those Cerberus assholes put in me," answered Shepard, her previous good humour fading. "I don't trust Lawson enough to tell me straight. I don't trust any of the equipment on the _Normandy_, either. Cerberus could have all sorts of things in that gear to mask the functions of the implants or EDI could interfere."

"What about Chakwas? You still trust her, right?" asked Garrus.

Shepard frowned at the question, "Of course I do. I'm sure she could tell me what some of them do. I don't think Lawson's stupid enough to risk Chakwas being able to treat me properly because of bad information." Shepard paused.

"But?" said Garrus. He always seemed to know when the but was coming.

"But maybe not all of my implants have anything to do with my, uh, rebuild. Crap, I still don't know what to call it." Shepard really tried not to think too much about what had occurred to her over the two years she was gone. Or what occurred _just before_ she was gone.

_Fire, screams, red, explosions, klaxons blaring, hot yellow beam cutting, floating, reach for that damn button, Joker yelling "_Shepard!" _Pain as her back slams against a bulkhead, floating again, her home in flaming pieces, hissing, oh shit hissing, where's the leak, where's the goddamn leak, close the leak!_

_Cold. So cold. Stars scattered across the black empty .Bright pinpoints. So cold._

_Nothing._

"Shepard? Shepard, you okay?" asked Garrus, reaching across the car, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder and giving her a slight shake. "You kind of went away there."

Shit. She shivered, still feeling the _memory_ of cold. Trust Garrus to notice her little episode. Shepard placed her hand on top of his, which was still sitting on her shoulder. "I'm okay," she said softly. Looking into Garrus' piercing blue eyes, she could tell that wasn't enough. "Flashback," she added, hoping that would do.

His eyes widened the smallest amount and his mandibles squeezed in tight to his jaw. "Yeah. Get them too," Garrus said. His flanged voice had a roughness to it. Shepard squeezed his hand. Garrus squeezed her should in return.

"Recurrent and abnormally vivid recollection of traumatic experience indicative of post-traumatic stress. Quick scan shows neurochemical imbalance in both subjects. Longer lived species more prone to condition. Advise more intensive examination and treatment," said Mordin, waving his omni-tool over Shepard and Garrus.

Shepard shook her head, smiling at Garrus who smiled back in that now familiar way, with his mandibles spreading out. "We're here. Let's go and see what I'm full of," she said, realising too late what came out of her mouth.

"I know what you're full of, Shepard. I don't need any fancy equipment," said Garrus with cocky grin on his face. There it is.

"Aw, crap!" muttered Shepard, annoyed that she gave him the opening. She hit the control to open the door. They climbed out of the car.

"Exactly!" laughed Garrus with that damn twinkle in his eyes. Shepard glared at him but couldn't keep it up before joining in. They made their way through the slums of Omega's Gozu district, laughter following them.

* * *

"Damn these stupid ass-backward hospital gowns!" Shepard cursed as she struggled to maintain her modesty in front of the two men. Stupid thing was too short, barely reaching the top of her thighs. Not to mention the gap where it joined behind her back. "You would think in a galaxy than can bring someone back to life, they could have invented something better!"

"Standard medical garment for human use. Please lay down on bed now, Shepard," Mordin smiled, eager to get started. Shepard obeyed.

Garrus was staring at her as she manoeuvred her way onto the bed without giving anyone an eyeful of her rear. "What? See something you like, Vakarian?" she taunted. Garrus was standing next to the bed on Shepard's right. Mordin typed some commands into the haptic interface at the foot of the bed. The bed started humming and the armature above the bed moved up and down scanning Shepard's body.

"Ah... I... I just haven't seen your feet before," stammered Garrus. He rubbed the back of his neck. Shepard hadn't seen him flustered. He was always so... suave. "And the scars. I mean, I could see the ones on your face but I didn't realise they extended so far."

Shepard could see Garrus following the glowing scars with his sharp blue eyes up her legs to- "Eyes front, soldier!" she barked, using the _Commander_ voice. Was Garrus trying to sneak a peek? It's _Garrus, _for god's sake! But maybe a small part of her _wanted_ him to look. She didn't know how to feel about that and that scared her. Garrus snapped to attention, years of military service shortcutting any conscious thought. "The scars will fade, according to Chakwas," she smirked now, "I didn't realise you had a foot fetish, though or is it a _human_ fetish?" What was she saying?

"What? Spirits, no! Why would anyone fetishise _feet_? You humans are strange." Garrus would be blushing if he could, Shepard was sure of it. "How do you run with flat feet like that? Five toes? That's three too many."

"Primate feet. Human evolution fascinating. Feet of evolutionary predecessors had opposable thumbs. Useful for climbing trees," inserted Mordin. "Aha! Scans complete."

Shepard sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Let me get dressed and then you can tell me what's inside me."

"I already told you, Shepard," grinned Garrus. Shepard hopped off the bed and scowled at him.

"Cocky bastard," she muttered. "No peeking!" she said louder as she moved behind the privacy screen to change.

Shepard emerged a few minutes later adjusting her armoured gloves. "So what's the deal, Professor? You can skip the standard stuff; I obviously have a subdermal translator and haptic interface impants." Mordin had moved over to a larger display where a hologram of Shepard's internal structure was rotating.

"Observe, Shepard. Cybernetics highlighted in blue," replied Mordin."Extensive." At about half-scale, Shepard could see her skeleton highlighted in blue with obvious metallic objects attached to her bones all over her body. The display shifted to display her circulatory system which was all blue. It shifted again, showing her muscles, bright blue strands matching the direction of the red coloured muscle fibres. The display shifted again, showing Shepard her internal organs which didn't seem to have devices attached but a blue sheen pulsed through them. Shepard's heart started a staccato thumping. She was breathing faster.

"My brain, Mordin! Show me my _brain_!" panic tinged her yell and Shepard hated herself for showing it.

Garrus moved next to her as Mordin replied," Of course." The display changed again, showing Shepard's nervous system. No blue in her brain. Even the blue sheen her other organs displayed was not visible. "No implants detected in either hemisphere. Only sign of artificial structure in nervous system is in implant attached to spinal column. Most likely used to repair severed spinal cord." The display rotated and zoomed in to show the implant Mordin was speaking of. It showed blue mesh in a circular shape surrounding the spinal cord.

Shepard had calmed down from her _episode_. Any more episodes and they should get out the straightjacket. "I guess Miranda told me the truth."

"What did Jack call her? Cerberus leadcheerer? Cheerleader?" asked Garrus obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"Cheerleader," answered Shepard with a small smile. "Miranda told me she wanted to implant a 'control chip' in me, just in case."

"Why didn't she?" asked Garrus, "She had plenty of opportunity."

"The Illusive Man told her not to. Something about me coming back as me." Shepard shrugged.

"You're kidding, right?" snorted Garrus. Shepard shook her head. "I have a feeling that will come back and bite him in the ass," he continued, eyes shining with amusement.

"You bet your ass, Vakarian," Shepard said, her confidence returning. "Once we're done with the Collectors and Reapers, Cerberus will fall." Shepard looked over to Mordin who was still scrolling through the data and mumbling to himself. "Anything else in me that might be a failsafe or booby trap?"

"No. All perfectly safe, beneficial, even," Mordin replied. "Even visible scars evidence of body's increased healing rate." Mordin cycled the hologram, as he explained. "Synthetic weaves through bone, muscle and skin enhance strength, speed, resistance to damage, also aid in delivery of medigel to injured areas. Bones nearly unbreakable. Nanites aid in oxygen delivery, increasing endurance. Also act as booster for liver, increasing resistance to poisons, drugs. Nanites also responsible for increased healing rate. Evidence bone weaves acted as scaffolding when bones were regrown using combination of nanotechnology and your own stem cells. Stem cells used to create bone cells, nanites rebuilt skeleton, much faster. Other weaves used in same way."

"'Biosynthetic fusion'," whispered Shepard as she looked at the hologram. "I accessed one of Miranda's logs after I woke up. That's what she called it." She turned to Garrus, still beside her like a rock, her rock. "Guess what my first thought was when I heard that?"

"Saren," Garrus whispered back, looking at her, his eyes widening in fear. "Any signs of Reaper tech, Mordin?" Garrus asked the question she couldn't. Brought back from the dead as _herself_? She could handle that. Brought back from the dead to become another Saren? She might as well blow her brains out right now. Why wait?

Mordin looked up from the interface and smiled. "No," he said confidently. Shepard nearly collapsed in relief. Garrus did the same. "Studied samples obtained from dead husks found on Eden Prime and salvage from Sovereign when consulting for STG. Dragon's teeth you found used nanites to convert humans captured by geth to husk state. Nanites in samples very different to nanites in you. The implants themselves are used for production and delivery of nanites."

"Wait a minute, you know that husks are Reaper creations?" asked Shepard in surprise. No one other than her crew and Anderson had believed her.

"Of course. Technology used more advanced than geth have. Also, why would geth create mindless _things_ out of humans? Not logical." Mordin took a deep breath and continued," Sovereign clearly not geth ship. Geth consistent with design of their ships. Sovereign clearly different in looks and capabilities. If not geth, then must be Reaper. Many in STG believed you, especially after Virmire. Politicians ignoring evidence not unusual behaviour, for politicians."

"Thanks, Mordin," Shepard said with gratitude. "Could you give us a few minutes?"

"Yes. Will go and check on former assistant, Daniel," Mordin replied, heading out of the room.

Shepard sat on the edge of the diagnostic bed, chewing her bottom lip, deep in thought. Cerberus Operative Miranda Lawson had told Shepard the truth about her... rebuild? Resurrection? No, Shepard wasn't particularly religious but that word was too much.

Could Shepard trust the Illusive Man? No, she decided. Cerberus was still a terrorist organisation, still had their own agenda far beyond what that smooth-talking bastard said to her face regarding the lost colonies and protecting humanity.

Could Shepard trust Lawson, Taylor and the rest of the Cerberus crew? Joker and Chakwas? That was easy. They had too much history between them. Hell, she _died_ to save Joker. The crew just had to do their jobs. Taylor was a _maybe_. He'd follow Shepard's orders without question, being a former Alliance marine and he had already indicated unease at some of Cerberus' past operations. Lawson was an unknown. She had, so far, followed Shepard's orders but if push came to shove, if one of Shepard's orders was over-ridden by one of the Illusive Man's? Shepard did not know which way Lawson would lean.

Then there was EDI. A damn AI, on her ship. Every AI Shepard had encountered had tried to kill her. That does not bode well for their future relationship. At least the damn thing was shackled and unable to access any important parts of the ship, like life support.

Shepard sighed. All this and a suicide mission, too. Welcome back to your life. She looked at Garrus, still standing there, waiting for Shepard and smiled, "I'm glad I found you, big guy."

"I'd be dead if you didn't get there when you did," replied Garrus with a rumbled undertone that Shepard had learned meant _unease_. "When I first saw you on that bridge, I thought I was hallucinating or dreaming. Maybe even dead. That's why I tagged you with that concussive round." Garrus moved closer to her, making her look up to him, nearly looming above her.

Rolling her shoulder where that round had hit her she said, "Yeah, thanks for that." A smile showed she wasn't serious.

Garrus fluttered his mandibles in a half-smile, "I'm trying to be serious, Shepard." His mandibles closed in to his jaw. "I... I was done," he stammered. He looks exhausted, Shepard thought, as exhausted as he was when she found him. "If you hadn't –"

"Hey, it's okay," Shepard said soothingly. She took both of Garrus' hands in hers. "I was dead; you took a rocket to the face. But right here? Right now? It's okay. We're okay."

Garrus nodded, "Yeah. I guess so."

Still holding Garrus' hands, Shepard stood up. "If we're going to have any chance of stopping the Collectors, I need you at my six. You're about the only person I trust right now, Garrus."

Garrus looked her in the eye and said, "I've always got your back, Shepard. You know that."

"Goes both ways, Garrus," Shepard replied with a nod and a smile.

They stood there, holding hands, just looking at each other until Garrus cleared his throat and looked down at where their hands were joined. Shepard realised that she had lost track of how long they were holding hands and dropped Garrus' hands like they were on fire. She felt her cheeks go red from embarrassment. Smooth, Shepard, real smooth.

Shepard gave Garrus a wry smile, "Sorry Garrus, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Are you blushing? You are aren't you?" Garrus had his mandibles pushed out wide in a big grin. "Just wait 'til I tell Joker. The fearsome Commander Shepard, Hero of Elysium, Saviour of the Citadel, blushed after a little handholding!" Garrus laughed a big hearty laugh that made Shepard grin.

Shepard shoved Garrus in the chest. "You do that and I'll –"

"What? Blush again?" Garrus laughed again. Shepard joined him. She couldn't stay angry with him. It was worth it to see him laugh and forget the pain he had endured recently.

"Come on, let's get Mordin and off this shithole," she ordered.

"Right behind you," said Garrus, as always.

As they travelled back to docks, Shepard thought about how while she had lost track of how long they stood there in Mordin's clinic holding hands, Garrus made no attempt to let go either.


End file.
